Saturday, November 2, 2024

Top tips for arranging your work from home setup 

By Natalie Hunter

 

The year is 2020. You didn’t think it’d come to this. You thought surely your micromanager boss who constantly breathes down your neck would rather wear ten masks then let you work from home. And he probably would, but it’s out of his hands now. Dr. Fauci and Andrew “Lov Gov” Cuomo have said your office is unsafe and you’ll be working from home for an indefinite amount of time. No awkward water cooler chatter or having to pick out the bottom half of your outfit? You could get used to this. But your coffee table and an egg chair isn’t going to cut it as a workspace. Here’s how to turn your living/eating/sleeping space into your work space as well. 

 

Ultimate appearance enhancer


Now that you’ll be doing all of your communication through Zoom, you’ll want to look your best. Filters are a dangerous game because with one slip of the finger, you could turn yourself into a fish rather than enhancing your features. Instead, invest in a ring light. Since they’re all the rage, they may be hard to get your hands on for some time. In the meantime, order a donut from Dunkin Donuts on Grubhub and attach a flashlight.

 

Key to a healthy lifestyle


Working from home means less walking from the subway or parking lot to your office. That’s ok. Now you can do two of life’s most pleasurable activities at the same time — working and working out. That’s right. With an under-the-desk treadmill, you can now squeeze in a brisk jog while typing out expense reports. No one will ever notice how winded you sound while taking phone calls and they certainly won’t think you’re up to anything inappropriate. For the overachievers, you can take your desk side fitness to the next level by investing in a human hamster wheel.


Source of Nutrition

One aspect of the office you may find yourself missing is the vending machine. Fear not! You can recreate the glorious sensation of watching your favorite snack be dispensed to you. Get yourself and automatic cat feeder for your at-home desk. You can set it up to release chips, jellybeans or whatever your favorite treat is on the hour and one will be there to watch you shamefully shove your face in it. Plus, you won’t need to get up and decrease productivity! Yay!

 

Pet-friendly set-up


Your cat may be upset that you snagged its automatic feeder. That’s ok. You can make up for it. Once you start doing 5 zoom calls a day, your cat will realize that pulling focus by meowing, crawling across the keyboard and “accidentally” hitting the unmute button during these calls will be the best way to be disruptive. So why not embrace it? Get your cat a pedestal so it can be the center of attention during every zoom call. Maybe your boss will be distracted by the cuteness of your cat and forget about that presentation that was due?

Congrats! Your at-home cubicle is ready to go! How long will you be here for? Who knows? So get comfy!




So helpful, right?! These gems of wisdom must surely have prepared you for IRTE's REMOTE!



Fridays and Saturdays 
November 8, 9, 15, 16, 22 & 23
December 6 & 7, 2024
8:00-9:30pm


The Producers Club, 358 West 44th Street
Between 9th & 10th Ave
New York, NY


Tickets: $20 on-line, $25 cash only at the door

Monday, June 3, 2024

How to Attend the Funeral of Someone You Don’t Really Know

By Natalie Hunter

“Death is a fickle friend,” Edgar Allen Poe once likely said at some point. But what if you weren’t friends with the recently deceased? What if you weren’t even distantly related to them, loosely friendly coworkers or neighbors who exchange half-hearted pleasantries while unlocking your front door? What happens when you find yourself at the funeral of the aunt of the guy you just started seeing or your mom’s coworker’s sister? You might feel awkward at first, but if you follow these steps, you’ll feel as at ease as someone who didn’t just lose someone close to you because, well, you didn’t.

1. Never say your name









If you don’t reveal your identity, people won’t know how well you didn’t know the recently deceased. If anyone asks, it’s best to respond, “That stays between me and the guy in the coffin/urn.” This implies a forbidden secret and gives you a reason for me there.


2. Bring snacks











It’s a given that someone has thought of bringing extra tissues. But no one thinks of snacks. And even if they do, it’s those crusty  funeral home cookies. People count for plenty of emotions at funerals like grief and sadness but rarely do they anticipate the hanger. When the mother of the deceased spirals into a hangry rage upon finding out she’s been cut out of the will, you’ll be there to save the day with a bag of cheese-itz in hand. And then no one will question why you even showed up in the first place.


3. Present yourself as a very serious business person











If there’s one thing anyone knows about business people, it’s that they’re always stepping out to take a call. Whenever there’s a lull in the conversation or things get too emotional. You can give that self-important finger raise and say, “I have to take this,” while making your escape. As a business person, you can pull this move at least 5 times. Whether people believe you should be there or not, at least they think you’re important.


4. Hug everyone











If you’re not really one for physical contact, you might just have to push that discomfort to the side, because hugs are a winning move at funerals. Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on and some extra compassion — even they don’t realize it. Hug absolutely everyone. If you’re physically attached to another body through embrace, they can’t throw you out of the funeral for not being relevant enough.


5. Just exist











Grief is a difficult emotion to be around. There is no need to take on extra stress by worrying about not belonging. Truthfully, no matter how close you are to the deceased, everyone knows the sadness of loss and can connect on that level. Every life deserves to be honored, so there is no need for further justification. Be present. Be there for those who need you. And please, for the love of god, ignore steps 1-4.


Wow, that got really deep! The emotional range of this guide has surely prepared you to see The Lonely Death of L. Harris presented by IRTE.


IRTE and Squeaky Wheel Theatre Group Present:
THE LONELY DEATH OF L. HARRIS

Thursday, June 6, 2024, 10-11pm &
Saturday, June 8, 2024, 7-8pm
Squeaky Wheel Fringe Festival
The Cook Theatre at the
FSU Center for the Performing Arts
5555 N Tamiami Trail, Sarasota, FL 34243
Tix: $15.50 pre-sale / $18.50 walk-up

Friday, March 8, 2024

From the vIRTEgo Circus Lost and Found Bin...

Boys and Girls! 

We hope you are all enjoying our vIRTEgo Circus! Occasionally, one of our very welcome and esteemed guests gets a bit distracted by all the amazing sites, marvelous midway games and many sideshow attractions and will misplace a special personal item. Fret not! We hold on to everything at Lost and Found! We have been hanging on to the diary of one particular soul for some time. If you recognize the writing, please report to Ringmaster Lucy Knight. We'll be happy to offer you free ride on our Carousel for your pain.

Yours,

vIRTEgo Circus Management














































vIRTEgo Circus
Final Performances 
March 15 & 16, 2024

8:00-9:30pm

The Producers Club, 358 West 44th Street
Between 8th & 9th Ave
New York, NY

Tickets: $20 on-line, $25 cash only at the door