Innies vs Outies

The Great Introvert/Extrovert Debate

By Ima Shyone

Would I - a socially skeptical, self-proclaimed introvert - be willing to participate in a Game Show…are you crazy?

Really?  The prize is a fully funded year alone on a deserted island?  You have no idea how much I need that...if I don’t get space and solitude soon I may have an unobtrusive and quietly painful nervous breakdown...I’m desperate so -

Yes, I will do it!

Please note that I don’t throw around exclamation points every day – and this is completely out of my comfort zone - but in this case I’m all in.  For the record as an introvert, in my way, I’m often all in.  It’s just hard to tell.  It’s not really hostile.

Belly buttoned-up!

Even my bellybutton is an innie.  I wonder if all introverts are innies?  And are all extroverts outies?  Naval introspection aside, I need this year alone on a deserted island.

So I will be a contestant on the game show AVOIDANCE!  If the other introverts on the show can deal with the cruel torture of being exposed to loud buzzers and assorted extrovert exuberance and inappropriate lack of boundaries and general obnoxious in-your-face behavior, so can I. 

Out and proud!

Hold on…my enthusiastic extroverted cousin, Buddy Friendly, just texted me that he is in fact, an outie.  So maybe there is some science behind the bellybutton question…hmmm, a lot of extroverts wear clothes proudly displaying the navel so surveys for research on the subject could be easily available….I will pose it to the powers that be in the inner workings of the trivia world.

By the way, my cousin Buddy Friendly is delighted that I will be on a game show.  He and his 8 year old son Mikey want to attend.  Mikey is still young so he hasn’t completely  perfected the social dictates of congeniality and perhaps he will bloom into a careful and discerning introvert like his Aunt Ima.  One never knows how kids might turn out.  Apparently I was a love bug when I was 2 years old.  So odd.  Well, I will have a close look at Mikey’s bellybutton and see if it is prophetic.

Oh, speaking of 8 year old potential introverts Mikey has just asked his father to text me his thoughts on innes and outies.  (He is very bright – which is why, despite his vivaciousness, there is hope that he could use that energy to think inwardly instead of screaming).

Here is this clever 8 year old assessment of the whole Innie/Introvert vs Outie/Extrovert mystery:

Jokes by Mikey Friendly

How many extroverts does it take to change a lightbulb?

At least a dozen.  One to make the food to celebrate the cool burst of light, two to buy the drinks, and at least nine to make it a party.  Make that fifteen: someone has to actually change the bulb and two to hold the ladder. 

How many introverts does it take to change a lightbulb?

You already know the answer:  innies are electrified by doing things on their own.  So yes, one.  Well, maybe two.  One to actually change the bulb, and one to make sure no one is else is going to show up to turn one simple household task into a noisy, crowded, energy-sucking party.

Was Jackie Coogan an introvert?

Why did the extrovert cross the road?

Because there were tons more people and lots more stuff going on, on the other side, and I mean, it’s kind of yucky to just walk along by yourself.

Why did the introvert cross the road?

For sure, dude, trying to escape from the extroverts – they’re everywhere man.

Why did the introvert & the extrovert throw the alarm clock out the window?

I don’t know either. 

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Innie.

Innie who?

Innie body know where I can find a quiet little alcove with a lock on the door?

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Outie

Outie who?

‘Owdie you expect me to wait here alone for ten minutes?

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad I’m outie here?

Come meet all our introverted contestants at...
AVOIDANCE

Friday and Saturday nights at 8 p.m. 

May 19, 20, 26 & 27

The Producer’s Club

358 W 44th St, New York, NY

Tickets: $15