Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Danger-Free Family Vacation Spots!

Hot Tips from Natalie, the Travel Hunter! 


Have you been wanting to take your family on vacation but are afraid to leave your small, safe hometown? It’s completely understandable for you to have these feelings. The world has become a scary place. Ships are sinking, bachelorette parties are getting out of hand and the evil clowns from Halloween of 2016 are making a comeback. However, these fun vacations spots are 99.9% free of danger.

Orlando, Florida
Ah, the home of good ole Mickey Mouse. What could possibly go wrong in the happiest place on Earth? There’s something here for the whole family. Children can meet their favorite Disney and movie characters at a wide array of amusement parks. Once your family is tired from a day at the theme park, hit up a local beach for some fun in the sun. How blissful! Of course, if little Timmy doesn’t fall out of a roller coaster or a shark doesn’t eat your entire family. Just in case, remove the heads of every mascot to check for evil clowns in disguise!

 
Washington, DC
What a fun and educational experience for the whole family! Take a journey to the past by wandering through the Smithsonian Museum. Catch a tour to witness the most important monuments in our country’s history like the capitol and Lincoln Memorial. What are the odds that the Washington Memorial will collapse and crush your entire family? It’s very unlikely that there are evil clowns lurking in the White House.




London, England
Since America has become such an unsafe place, fleeing the country is probably your best bet. England is a great European country to visit simply because British accents are so delightful. You can ride the London Eye, have high tea, and see a show at the Globe all in the same day. You can even use Big Ben to keep track of time. If you’re lucky, you can catch the Changing of the Guard at the Buckingham Palace.  There is such a slim chance that Prince Harry is actually an evil clown who will hold your family hostage in his palace.







One last and best family friendly spot is IRTE’s production of Evil Clowns Have Feelings, Too where there will definitely be no evil clowns or danger. Catch it at the Producers Club on May 3rd, 4th, 10th, and 11th at 8PM.



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