Saturday:
All week the pigeons had been eating the special grain I prepared. Poor, unsuspecting citizens! As planned the effects of the grain began in the early afternoon. I watched with delight as special reports began streaming throughout the media. The first was a couple who were enjoying a lovely picnic in the park - yuck! - when the first incident happened. Suddenly it was as if lava had fallen from the sky and set their blanket ablaze. What was this? Stupid citizens! Before long there was one story after another of the mysterious "lava rain" that was devastating the city. The fires were lovely! I left my window open so I could listen to the beautiful music of sirens and the screams of a city in chaos. Even after my little flying merchants of death finished their "rain" of terror the fires burned. It made for a wonderful evening and I was quite pleased with myself.
Sunday:
Well, the stupid authorities finally figured out that it was the pigeons. Surely they would know that some evil genius had planned the whole thing, right? WRONG! The cretins and their inept "experts" decided that the birds had somehow consumed large amounts of ghost peppers. GHOST PEPPERS!? The level of brain activity these fools display is shockingly low. I doubt they even bothered to test the residue left behind. Because if they did they would know the genius it took to formulate the grain and have it make its way through the digestive track of the birds to release its full effect at precisely the right moment. I almost went public but have decided to work on another plan for next weekend. This time they will know that it was someone with a brilliant mind and a thirst for destruction. Then I will hear those words I've been waiting to hear from their lips: "Who would do such a thing?!"
Monday:
I was almost late to work because of a bus driver who decided to be kind and help several handicapped people get on and off the bus. Why do we keep the handicapped around? They're simply in the way all of the time and the rest of us have to work around them. It would much more helpful if they would just use them for human experimentation. If it's good enough for prisoners it's good enough for the handicapped I say. Work was a complete disappointment as well. I had planned to stay in the server room and work on my next act of evil but as IT Director it's never that easy. The idiots that I work with managed to completely crash the server and I had to spend the entire day fixing it. But it did give me a wonderful idea for next weekend's event. An electrical current that I can remotely send to the dogs and cats of the city that will make them enraged and turn on their owners. Should be simple enough. Hopefully the authorities will figure it out this time. But I'm not holding my breath. Now it's time for a nice dinner and a warm bath. Tomorrow the wheels begin to turn and I'll be one step closer to another glorious weekend of chaos!
