Thursday, November 4, 2021

From the Diary of Midge Murphy, Concerned Social Worker...

Dear Diary,

I am concerned about Ernestine, as any competent social worker, like myself, would be. Ernestine McCluskey, my neighbor and someone I happen to have an open case file on, is worrisome. 

She hasn’t gotten dressed in a long time. Maybe for the past two years she has been in that same nightgown. Amazingly it is not a ratty, torn up old rag. Remarkably she doesn’t smell, in fact, she has a faint scent of lavender. That time I spent hovering under my covers in Brad’s old T shirt for weeks on end I started to smell, like an over ripe puddle of sad.

Maybe she changes her nightgown often, or has many in the same exact style. That must be it. And she does not comb her hair. Well, neither do I, really. I just let it air dry when I do wash it then I try to pin it into some semblance of order with bobby pins. Luckily, I wear a hat.

Nothing about Ernestine’s life seems to be in order. Her youngest child has disappeared. That child had been oddly upbeat all the time and truly believed that the father, James McCluskey Sr. was away at sleep away camp. No the father has been in prison.

Oh what a sad way for a couple to separate. Not as sad as how my husband, Brad separated from me. One night, Brad comes into our kitchen just as I got the potatoes mashed up in the most perfect way - with butter and a bit of milk - just perfect. In he bursts, talking a mile a minute, opening drawers, cabinets and then rustling around in the open junk drawer, still blabbing away about not being happy. More complaints about not being able to find the GD extra car key then suddenly he waves the GD key in front of my face and says “That’s it, Midge, I am leaving you.” And he stormed out. There I was, holding the potatoes masher and all I could say was “but dinner is ready.”

Oh My God. The nerve. I mean, butter and milk - just perfect. For him. 

Oh such an underhanded move. Oh… What… a… the nerve.

Oh Diary, oh crap. Focus Midge…

So back to the McCluskey’s and their angst. Their other wild child Tiffani Diamond, is 14 years old going on 32. She smokes. She does. I can smell her cigarettes when I peek over the hedge. Smoking. Soon she’ll be smoking marijuana. Then heroin.

And she seems to love alcohol too. I don’t think Ernestine has any control over Tiffani. Or if Ernestine even cares anymore. As a mother, that scares me. I know my daughter Megan idolizes Tiffani. So I am making sure that Megan has a strict curfew for the rest of her life. I never should have let Megan attend the sleep over. Who knows what crazy ideas those kids fed her? I bet they drank.

And that weird clown lady always seems to always be around. She flirts with James Senior so openly, at least when I was looking through the fence. I wonder if she knows the he and I had a wild flirtation over my mashed potatoes one Thanksgiving.


Oh Diary, I am distracted by a man. A man dressed in orange, the color of fall. Which might be what I am doing… Falling. Or failing? As a friend and a social worker… Oy.

Okay Dear Diary to clear my mood here’s a joke I thought up for the open mic I will attend: What do you get when you cross a nightgown with a microphone? Ernestine McCluskey doing stand up! Hee hee!

Dear Diary, it is so good to laugh. It helps.

Sincerely,

Midge Murphy



Should Midge worry? 
Come find out at...


Fridays and Saturdays. 
Remaining shows
November 5, 6,12 & 13
8:00-9:30pm

The Producers Club, 358 West 44th Street
Between 9th & 10th Ave
New York, NY

Tickets: $20 on-line, $25 cash only at the door

Wednesday, May 22, 2019

From the Diary of Meghan Murphy...



Make sure you're all packed for Jamie's slumber party!
...but maybe leave your diary at home...



May 31, June 1, 7 & 8, 8:00 pm

 The Producers Club, 358 West 44th Street
between 9th and 10th Avenue
New York, NY


 Tickets: $15 on-line, $17 at the door


Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Danger-Free Family Vacation Spots!

Hot Tips from Natalie, the Travel Hunter! 


Have you been wanting to take your family on vacation but are afraid to leave your small, safe hometown? It’s completely understandable for you to have these feelings. The world has become a scary place. Ships are sinking, bachelorette parties are getting out of hand and the evil clowns from Halloween of 2016 are making a comeback. However, these fun vacations spots are 99.9% free of danger.

Orlando, Florida
Ah, the home of good ole Mickey Mouse. What could possibly go wrong in the happiest place on Earth? There’s something here for the whole family. Children can meet their favorite Disney and movie characters at a wide array of amusement parks. Once your family is tired from a day at the theme park, hit up a local beach for some fun in the sun. How blissful! Of course, if little Timmy doesn’t fall out of a roller coaster or a shark doesn’t eat your entire family. Just in case, remove the heads of every mascot to check for evil clowns in disguise!

 
Washington, DC
What a fun and educational experience for the whole family! Take a journey to the past by wandering through the Smithsonian Museum. Catch a tour to witness the most important monuments in our country’s history like the capitol and Lincoln Memorial. What are the odds that the Washington Memorial will collapse and crush your entire family? It’s very unlikely that there are evil clowns lurking in the White House.




London, England
Since America has become such an unsafe place, fleeing the country is probably your best bet. England is a great European country to visit simply because British accents are so delightful. You can ride the London Eye, have high tea, and see a show at the Globe all in the same day. You can even use Big Ben to keep track of time. If you’re lucky, you can catch the Changing of the Guard at the Buckingham Palace.  There is such a slim chance that Prince Harry is actually an evil clown who will hold your family hostage in his palace.







One last and best family friendly spot is IRTE’s production of Evil Clowns Have Feelings, Too where there will definitely be no evil clowns or danger. Catch it at the Producers Club on May 3rd, 4th, 10th, and 11th at 8PM.



Sunday, March 17, 2019

Experience the S.S. Maximamoolah

Never has there been a cruise ship the size of the SS Maximamoolah.

Soooooo big, one camera can't capture it all!

No other vessel on the seven seas rival it in luxury or expanse. Boasting no less than
seventeen turbine engines designed by Elon Mush, it is the fastest boat of its size. Its
specially heated prow can melt ice for an Antarctic adventure, or hatch Condor eggs
without the help of a mother Condor. Now that makes for a hearty breakfast in any one
of the 32 eating establishments throughout the 44 decks. The dining in the main ball
room has been prepared especially for your journey by none other than James Beer
Award winner Mario Battalion.

Endangered Species Treats!


There isn’t just food aboard the Maximamoolah, but a new world of fun.
There are movie theaters plus IMAX on board. A cabaret, and a Broadway sized theatre
with three balconies. This summer’s entertainment includes the beautiful vocal shadings
of Tym Moss straight out of Manhattan.
But, performing arts aren’t the only fun you’ll have on board.
Gamble at the casino, or at the Jai Alai court on S, T, F and U decks. Have fun on the
water slide, or feed the exotic wild cats in the first floating animal park!

Oops! Look who's using the pool!

Come join the fun and sun on board the SS Maximamoolah! Sea-ing is Believing!

The SS Maximamoolah sets sail in IRTE's

THE SHIP BE SINKIN'

April 5, 6, 12 & 13, 8:00 pm

 The Producers Club, 358 West 44th Street
between 9th and 10th Avenue
New York, NY


 Tickets: $15 on-line, $17 at the door

Tuesday, March 5, 2019

David Jay's DIY Paper Craft Game - Bachelorette Party FUN!



Have you ever wanted to make a fun DIY paper craft game for a bachelorette party? Of course you haven't. But now you can, with...

David Jay's Penis Ring Toss Game. 

And you'll be the most popular person there!
Watch the exciting video tutorial, and print out the instructions and template here: http://tinyurl.com/y3crbtvg


And if you're in New York City, see Tammy's Bachelorette, a hilarious comedy improv show by IRTE and David Jay as the "Adult Entertainment."

March 8, 9, 15, 16, 2019. 

Tix and info at: https://www.irteinfo.com/tickets/Tammys-Bachelorette-p129993812



Monday, January 7, 2019

Meet the Newest Member of IRTE, Izzy Church!


IRTE, the Improvisational Repertory Theatre Ensemble, places a special emphasis on the importance of Ensemble work. Our shows - how we pitch, select and develop them - are a completely collaborative effort. It's the main Ensemble, working together, who drive who we are and what we look forward to becoming. As we enter 2019, and our eighth season, we are delighted to welcome the newest member to our Ensemble, Izzy Church.



Fellow IRTE Jamie Maloney, sat down with Izzy after a recent pre-production meeting...


Layla Lowe
You were quite a familiar face on the IRTE stage last season - whether as a shady heiress or a post-apocalyptic teen - I'm sure people are wondering how we all met? 

I was introduced to IRTE through a friend that invited me to a prop workshop, which was conducted by IRTE team members. 

We'll be holding that workshop again this coming February, if anyone out there is interested..?

In the class we had to find unconventional ways to work with the props... It was a lot of fun and after the workshop I was asked to perform in my first IRTE production.

Yes, as the corporate raider, Rhonda Smiles in the Diabiloical Dr. Fiend! How long were you a GIRTE? (That's a Guest-of-IRTE for those who don't know the lingo).
Rhonda Smiles

I performed back to back in three shows as a GIRTE, which was basically one show short of an entire season. I performed in the following three productions: Diabolical Dr. Fiend, IRTE Noir & Wow Wee 2.

So... what do you think? Do you have a favorite memory of your experiences with IRTE, so far? 

Working with IRTE has been a wonderful experience on so many levels that it is hard to pick a favorite memory. However, I really loved traveling to New Orleans with the team and performing in the INFringe festival. 

We brought back Wow Wee 2! Adventures of a Little Girl Killbot. You were terrific as Skylar Truman, the most popular girl at Cesspool High!

I really felt like the shows performed at the INFringe festival were extra special. The moments we found together as a team were priceless. I felt like we took improv/theater to another level.
L-R: Mike Hauschild, Nannette Deasy and Izzy Church as Skylar Truman

What do you like most about performing in IRTE shows?

This is also a challenging questions, but I think I like the way IRTE combines theatre with improvisation to create a real theatrical experience that is completely different every night.  

Thank you, Izzy! We can't wait to see what new and hilarious characters you come up with in 2019! 

Stay tuned, as we'll be announcing our 2019 season shortly! For more info, visit www.irteinfo.com / IRTEinfo@gmail.com