Showing posts with label Producers Club. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Producers Club. Show all posts

Sunday, March 17, 2019

Experience the S.S. Maximamoolah

Never has there been a cruise ship the size of the SS Maximamoolah.

Soooooo big, one camera can't capture it all!

No other vessel on the seven seas rival it in luxury or expanse. Boasting no less than
seventeen turbine engines designed by Elon Mush, it is the fastest boat of its size. Its
specially heated prow can melt ice for an Antarctic adventure, or hatch Condor eggs
without the help of a mother Condor. Now that makes for a hearty breakfast in any one
of the 32 eating establishments throughout the 44 decks. The dining in the main ball
room has been prepared especially for your journey by none other than James Beer
Award winner Mario Battalion.

Endangered Species Treats!


There isn’t just food aboard the Maximamoolah, but a new world of fun.
There are movie theaters plus IMAX on board. A cabaret, and a Broadway sized theatre
with three balconies. This summer’s entertainment includes the beautiful vocal shadings
of Tym Moss straight out of Manhattan.
But, performing arts aren’t the only fun you’ll have on board.
Gamble at the casino, or at the Jai Alai court on S, T, F and U decks. Have fun on the
water slide, or feed the exotic wild cats in the first floating animal park!

Oops! Look who's using the pool!

Come join the fun and sun on board the SS Maximamoolah! Sea-ing is Believing!

The SS Maximamoolah sets sail in IRTE's

THE SHIP BE SINKIN'

April 5, 6, 12 & 13, 8:00 pm

 The Producers Club, 358 West 44th Street
between 9th and 10th Avenue
New York, NY


 Tickets: $15 on-line, $17 at the door

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

New Year, New IRTE

By Nannette Deasy

It's January 4th and as I sit here in a post-holiday daze, I can't help but wonder... Do my clown pants still fit?

This Saturday, IRTE will kick off the new year by remounting last season's improvised birthday party,
I'm very glamorous
Happy Birthday, Stupid Kid! for the Asheville Fringe Arts Festival in North Carolina (performances Jan 26 & 28). (Yes, I play a clown - an amateur children's party clown.). Before our rehearsal this weekend, I will need to make my way down to our building's storage and retrieve wigs, streamers, the various dime store goodies we use as props and, of course, one pair of abused clown pants. (You know it's been an indulgent New Year's when clown pants are snug.)

It's actually an exciting time for IRTE. The end of 2016 was a rough one for many of us, so we're looking forward to a 2017 full of laughter, artistic growth, music and good ol' indie theatre weirdness. In these uneasy times, all artistic voices matter, even the small and silly ones, especially the small and silly ones. Who we are and how we feel about ourselves, one another and the world around us is not solely inspired by the largest commercial stages and screens. We can be nourished one evening at a time, together in a small black box theater. There in the darkness, we connect and laugh and (hopefully) feel a bit better about everything for an hour or so.



With that in mind, Robert, Bill, Curt, Jamie and I got together, pitched about a billion (actually 35) ideas, voted, ate snacks, wrestled (mentally) and re-voted until we all agreed. (I kept pitching a show
When I googled "T-Rex" and "beauty pageant,"
the first image that came up was Donald Trump
called Toddlers and Tyrannosaurs about a child pageant show in which a T-Rex gets entered and then eats all the children. This is the third year I've pitched that show. It never gets chosen.)



Now, without further ado, I'm pleased to announce IRTE 2017! Mark your calendars! Blow your horns! Clap your hands! (unless you're a T-Rex)*


The Sense-ations!
Conceived by Curt Dixon
Directed by Robert Baumgardner

FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS March 17, 18, 24 & 25, 8:00pm,


**Management not responsible for any super villain attacks during the show.

They're international pop superstars! They have REAL super powers! Experience the phenomenon that is THE SENSE-ATIONS!**









Conceived and Directed by Bill Berg
FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS April 21, 22, 28 & 29, 8:00pm

Time-traveling creatures from inside your mind..

​Genetically-modified clones of your worst-nightmare-self…

Hold onto your seats because anything can happen when the twisted minds of IRTE meld with the spur-of-the-moment suggestions of the audience in this improvised B-movie sci-fi thriller that will have you laughing, screaming, and dying for more!










Avoidance!
Original Concept by Jamie Maloney

FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS May 19, 20, 26 & 27, 8:00pm

The game show where contestants face the discomforts of everyday life, vying for the grand prize - 
year alone, away from the madness of daily life. Will they succeed in avoiding their greatest fears and anxieties?​





Conceived and Directed by Robert Baumgardner
FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS June 16, 17, 23 & 24, 8:00pm

The big get BIGGER, the rich get RICHERER, the powerful get even more POWERFULLERERER! … but who Trumps them all? Witness the private lives of the titans of industry. Who falls from grace? Who marries up? Who moves to Washington? Find out in this improvised comedy based on the IRTE hit "Big, Rich & Powerful"!





*All shows take place 8pm at the Produces Club, 358 West 44th Street New York, NY 10036.  Tickets $15



Another piece of exciting news! For the first time ever, IRTE's holding auditions! Want to be a part of the shows mentioned above? Let us know!

We are looking for diverse, experienced improvisational actors to join our roster of guest improvisers (GIRTEs). IRTE is a share-based company, meaning all show expenses (rehearsal space, performance venue, publicist, tech, postcards, posters, etc.) are split equally among the company (IRTE main ensemble and GIRTEs equally). In return, all ticket sales are also divided equally among the company after the run. For an audition slot or questions, please e-mail: irteinfo@gmail.com. GIRTEs and former Ensemble members from previous seasons need not audition, but should email their interest in being cast for future shows. For more information, please visit www.irteinfo.com.



T-Rexes and beautiful child pageant stars need not apply. Apparently, some people do not find them amusing.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Aged Wisdom: 21 Pieces of Advice from Some Old Fart

Actual photo
By Lane Brickmason, Curmudgeon
(...as told to William Berg)

  1. Work is overrated. If I could do it all over again I’d retire in my twenties and work shit jobs in my sixties.
  2. Never hold a grudge or a fart. You’ll feel much better if you let it all go. Some say true freedom is the freedom to fart whenever and wherever you need to.
  3. Always have sex with a woman who wants to have sex with you. Whatever mess it may make in the moment, you’ll regret it later if you don’t do it.
  4. Free yourself from guilt. If no one saw you do it and you didn’t get caught, stop worrying about it.
  5. Always sign a pre-nup. Trust me on this.
  6. Never trust a politician, a lawyer, or your in-laws. In the end, they’re all out to get you.
  7. Learn to play a musical instrument. It’ll help get you laid when you’re young and keep you company when you’re old.
  8. Don’t concern yourself with fashion. Wear whatever the hell you like wearing.
  9. Learn how to handle a firearm. Even if you don’t ever own a gun, it’s a good skill to have and you just never know when you might need it.
  10. Learn how to get your own food, whether it’s hunting, fishing, or gardening. Again, you never know.
  11. Keep fit and learn how to work with your hands. If you don’t build your own house, at least you can dig your own grave.
  12. Do your goddamn dishes! It’s inconsiderate and disgusting, and nothing pleases a woman more than a man doing a simple chore.
  13. Always keep your driver’s license and your library card current. There’s more than one way to get away!
  14. Don’t get caught up in always having the latest technological gadget. Learn how to do things the old ways and you’ll be doing just fine.
  15. Learn how to ride a horse or a motorcycle. Do I need to explain why?
  16. Learn to fly a plane, pilot a boat, or drive a train. Good for when the shit really hits the fan.
  17. Avoid doctors unless absolutely necessary. They’re like car mechanics but not as honest.
  18. On the subject of perfume: when ladies wear just a little bit it adds a nice flavor to their already alluring scent. Men, on the other hand, should NEVER wear perfume. That garbage just stinks! I’d rather smell my own farts.
  19. If you ever get the chance to go up in a UFO - DON’T F*CKING DO IT!!!
  20. Always have a smile ready. It’s good for charming a lady or sticking it to someone who’s trying to get you down.
  21. Make sure you make out a will and give clear instructions for after your death. Don’t be a pain in the ass from the grave!


The most important piece of advice..?
Don't miss
LAST RESORT

Friday and Saturday nights at 8 p.m.
June 10, 11, 17 & 18
The Producer’s Club
358 W 44th St, New York, NY
Tickets: $12

Sunday, April 10, 2016

From the files of IRTE’s Dirt Digger, Amateur Boner...



Dirt Digger.jpeg
Dirt Digger, amateur Bone Buff
For IRTE’s upcoming archaeological adventure show, ‘Dig’, IRTE’s own amateur bone buff, Dirt Digger, sat down with real-life archaeologist and all around good guy, Dr. Geoffrey Undergrass, to pick his brain about the science and faith of archaeology and to sift through the lies and real facts about those who dig human remains.

Here’s part of that conversation…

DD: So, first and foremost, I think I have to ask the obvious question, “what’s the difference between archaeology and anthropology?”

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Dr. Geoffrey Undergrass

Dr. GU: (laughs) Ok, well, uh, anthropology is the broad discipline of the study of human beings, and archaeology is a sub-discipline underneath anthropology where you look at the material remains of human culture. Some of us get tired of being asked at parties what we do and when we say “I’m an archaeologist” see the person go off on some wild tangent about dinosaurs. That’s paleontology! Archaeologist’s don’t do dinosaurs.

DD: Are all archaeologists atheists? Or do you believe that God scattered all those dinosaur bones to test our faith?
Dr. GU: (clears his throat to answer)

DD: Or, OR -- that aliens buried all those artifacts to mess with us?

Dr. GU: I think that God is an alien and that in His Infinite Wisdom did try to hide artifacts to test our faith - it all will be revealed during judgment day. So, yeah, I think we’ll find out for sure.

DD: ARE all archaeologists atheists?

11737981_10204513665822670_1560191318479786851_n.jpgDr. GU: (chuckles) I think most tend to be, uh, and I think it’s typical of what goes along with most sciences. I think people that generally have chosen a worldview that relies more on empirical evidence and employing the scientific method tend to not be more, sort of, faith-based in their belief system. So that tends to lend itself to a more atheist worldview. Most people that tend to have a strong Christian worldview, you know, look at archaeology and tend to see their faith reflected in that, either seeing Noah’s flood or uh, you know, the whole idea of a six-thousand year old world and trying to find justification for that...instead of relying on the scientific method and trusting in things like radiocarbon dating as a legitimate dating technique.




DD: Ooh, yeah! Tell us about carbon dating! And is there an app for that?


Dr. GU: Ha - no. There’s no app for that. There should be! But, no. Carbon dating is a good way that archaeologists tend to use to find out an absolute age of anything that’s organic that you would find, so whether it be a piece of wood or bone or a piece of clothing, perhaps, or something of that nature. Everything alive today is made mostly of carbon, and there’s a small amount of that carbon that is radioactive. And, as you live you take in carbon, and when you die the carbon is sort of frozen in time, uh, the moment that you die because you’re not taking in any new carbon. So that little bit of radioactive carbon that’s in your body decays at a very steady rate and however much of that carbon is left at the time that you date it you can tell how long ago that organic thing died. So it’s a very reliable technique if you do things properly to find out how old something is. But because of the rate of the decay, the time period that you can get a reliable date is somewhere between, you know, several hundred and up to about 50,000 years ago...

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Indiana Jones, Not a REAL archaeologist
DD: Sounds like about how long it’s been since I was last dating...

DD: ...Uh. Ok. Um. So, is Indiana Jones the most famous archaeologist or what?

Dr. GU: Haha! Certainly the most famous fictional archaeologist. When you talk about REAL archaeologists, somebody like Louis and Mary Leakey come to mind as maybe some people that most folks may have heard of. And their son, Richard Leakey.

DD: Oh yeah, I know Richard!

Dr. GU: Yeah, uh...So the Leakeys were, you know, sort of the First Family of archaeologists in Africa, that discovered a lot of really significant early human ancestors.

DD: Including “Lucy”?

Dr. GU: Um, no. It was actually a guy named Tim White and a couple other researchers from California, Berkley, that found Lucy. But they were certainly inspired by the Leakeys to go over and do the work over there.            
     
DD: Have you ever been on a dig where you had to avoid booby traps.

Dr. GU: (big laugh) Not so much booby traps, but sometimes we have to avoid a lot of cowpies.

DD: So not booby traps, but doody traps.

Dr. GU: Haha -- yeah, doody traps. Yeah. And you also want to avoid any anti-government types. You know you want to make sure you avoid those folks.

DD: Has anyone ever died on a dig you were on? And was it from booby traps?

Dr. GU: No. No one has ever died from a booby trap on a dig.

DD: Ok.
_49137806_dig.jpg

Dr. GU: But a friend of mine was on a dig where a guy died from heat stroke or maybe a heart attack, so it’s definitely possible.

DD: Ok. Good. Um…

Dr. GU: (clears his throat)

DD: Oh! What’s the most important thing you’ve ever dug up?


Dr. GU: The thing that comes to mind is I was working on a dig in Austin, Texas. And it was a very early archaeological site - probably about 12,000 years old, and while we were there we found an inscribed tablet that appeared to be very early artwork from these folks that they’d left behind. And it was pretty significant because up until this find there’d only been one other artifact like this from this general area from that time period, so this was only the second of such examples of this very early artwork. So, that was pretty cool.

DD: Yeah. Cool.


QUESTIONS, ANSWERS and OBSERVATIONS from REAL ARCHAEOLOGISTS


Several Stupid Questions

"Why did the Indians bury their stuff under so much dirt?"
“Why did they build so far from the road?”
"How did you know to dig here to find those square holes?"
"But why did the Indians bury the bones in these square holes?"
"Did these bison die in Noah's flood?"
"Now these bison, were they dinosaurs?"


6 Misconceptions Corrected

1.  Most people think archaeologists "dig" dinosaurs.  They don't.  Those are paleontologists.  Archaeologists don't do dinosaurs.

2.  Archaeologists are often thought of in two disparate groups:  professor/adventurers (Indiana Jones), and avocational hobbyists who go out on weekends to collect cool shit.  Neither is particularly accurate.

3.  When people volunteer to go out and actually do archaeology, they are horrified by how boring and tedious it is.  The actual digging is very slow, and the paperwork and documentation is enormous.

4.  Religious people always ask questions that try to validate their preconceptions.  "So that dirt there looks like it came from Noah's Flood, eh?"

5.  People are terribly disappointed to find out that archaeology does not usually involve monumental ruins, secret passages, and burial curses.  Instead it most commonly involves tiny pieces of broken stone tools and pottery.

6.  Archaeologists' biggest secret:  if we don't know the purpose of some artifact or structure, it is "ceremonial."

Dig2 small.jpeg

For more exciting and hilarious archaeological artifacts unearthed, join us at IRTE’s production of Dig




Friday and Saturday nights at 8 p.m.
April 15 & 16, 22 & 23
The Producer’s Club
358 W 44th St, New York, NY



Special thanks to Jeff Overturf, REAL Archaeologist, Brewer, and all around good guy! And thanks, as well, to all of Jeff’s archaeologist friends and colleagues who contributed to the writing of this article.
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