Help Us to Continue Bringing Good Cheer in the New Year!

Dear Friend,

We had a great season this past year, producing four different shows. Plus, we're doing our best to reach audiences outside of New York City, as well. In January, we're performing at the Asheville Fringe Festival. So, if you live in or near NC, now's your chance to check us out live and in person!

For the upcoming 2017 season, the IRTE elves have opened their workshop, and are hard at work making plans for four new improvised shows. They're hoping to bring entertainment and laughter to all, and give everyone some relief from the past year.

We can't do this without contributions from people like you who want to share terrific, zany, live comedy and who want to make sure it's affordable for everybody.

If you weren't able to take part in our 2016 Indiegogo fundraiser, and would like to see  small, independent theatre thrive, there is still time to make a tax deductible gift to IRTE in 2016 through our fiscal sponsor, Fractured Atlas. To give a gift to IRTE during this charitable time of year, please go to the Fractured Atlas IRTE page and make a tax deductible donation on-line. If you prefer, you can also donate by check. Please send contributions to IRTE c/o Robert Baumgardner, 10 W 66 St, #19-H, New York, NY 10023. Checks should be made payable to Fractured Atlas, with IRTE in the memo line. IRTE is a sponsored project of Fractured Atlas, a non-profit arts service organization. Contributions for the charitable purposes of IRTE must be made payable to “Fractured Atlas” and are tax‐deductible to the extent permitted by law. We greatly appreciate it.

We at IRTE would like to wish all of you a happy holiday season and a wonderful new year! We'd also like to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all your support over the past five years. Our 2016 fundraising efforts helped us pay for over a third of our overall costs. Our biggest expense, by far, is rent on theatre and rehearsal spaces. This year we spent over $3,400 on that alone. Donations weren't the only way you supported us. We had a blast seeing so many of you in the audience for multiple shows in our season.
 
Happy Holidays from all of us at IRTE, and we look forward to seeing you for our exciting new 2017 season (announcement coming soon)!

Nannette Deasy, Artistic Director
Robert Baumgardner
Curt Dixon
Jamie Maloney
Bill Berg

Dear Aggy: Upper Eastside Headmaster Wants to Deny Neighbors’ Kid Admission to “It” Pre-School

By Aggy Quincy Adams

 

Every week, Aggy Quincy Adams answers New Yorkers’ burning questions in her provocative “Dear Aggy” advice column. She has read every edition of “The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette” since it first went into print in 1952. Aggy’s raw, unfiltered advice makes her the moral compass of New York.

_____________________________________________

An Upper Eastside woman wants to keep her social circle free of status climbing riffraff—and their offspring.  

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 Dear Aggy: I am the headmaster at a prestigious pre-school for Ivy League bound 4 year olds. My obnoxious new money neighbors desperately would like their 3 year old to attend in the fall. Even though I know first hand that young Bartholomew shows Ivy potential, this family is persona non grata in my social group. They are relentless social climbers with gross, ostentatious displays of wealth like Louis Vuitton suitcases. I don't want to be the one responsible for validating this family and affirming their deluded ambition to be well regarded within our group by admitting their son into my academy.

— Upper Crust Gatekeeper on the UES

Dear Upper Crust: You poor darling! It's completely unfair that your relentless neighbors have put you in this position. But, it’s a good thing you came to me because I have a great idea. Set up a scholarship for underprivileged students, and announce your neighbors’ young preschooler as the inaugural beneficiary. This will accomplish two things: You will be reaffirming that family's status as the underclass nouveau riche that they truly are, and you'll be doing a great thing for charity. I am sure you know the importance of contributing to charitable causes. It’s a win-win. And if they refuse your generous offer, they are truly tasteless. Godspeed!

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Dear Aggy: I am so excited because I have finally booked the perfect venue for my June wedding—the Brooklyn Botanic Garden! As a native Brooklynite, I am so proud that my special day will happen in the borough I have called home my entire life. But of course, there’s a problem!

My uncle owns a catering hall in Sheepshead Bay and insists on hosting our reception there as his wedding gift to us. However, this will make for quite a trek for my guests after the ceremony. My fiancé is from rural Ohio, and our wedding will be the first time in New York City for many of his family members traveling in for the wedding. I had this bright idea to buy Metrocards for all 100 guests but my maid of honor called that idea “tacky.” I really think the reception ought to be closer to the ceremony venue. Right around the time that my uncle gifted us with the use of his catering hall for our reception, I found this amazing art deco reception hall around the corner from the ceremony venue that is still available the day of my wedding…if I don’t miss the deposit deadline.

Aggy, I absolutely cannot say no to my uncle—he’s already started working on menu ideas and hiring additional staff, and it would just break his heart if I refused his kind offer. But after all, this is my wedding and shouldn’t I be able to truly have the wedding of my dreams?

— Torn in Bensonhurst

Dear Torn: I have an awesome idea, and frankly, I am surprised you weren’t able to see this obvious solution on your own. Take the money that you’re not spending on renting a reception hall and properly “thank” your uncle by offering to pay for renovations at his catering hall (I am sure he’s owned it for many years and it is probably overdue for a facelift anyway). And make sure you insist that the hall’s new look be in the art deco style. This way, you keep your uncle happy and you get to have that art deco style venue that you so deeply desire. And if he refuses your kind offer, then he is a hypocrite and you should disinvite him from the wedding.

As for your wedding guests who will have to sojourn down to Sheepshead Bay, your friend was right—sending your wedding guests on the subway is trés gauche. I have a better idea. Gift your guests with pre-paid American Express gift cards enclosed with a note instructing them to use it for an Uber X down to your uncle’s catering hall. That’s class. Cheers!

 

Looking for MORE great advice..?

Come see IRTE in

 

LATE NIGHT NEWS

Saturdays, May 2, 9 & 16, 8:00 pm
at The Producer's Club
358 W 44th St, NYC
between 8th & 9th Ave.

Tickets: $12.00

 

Dear Aggy: Double-Life of a Bagel Lover in Inwood

By Aggy Quincy Adams

Every week, Aggy Quincy Adams answers New Yorkers’ burning questions in her provocative “Dear Aggy” advice column. She has read every edition of “The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette” since it first went into print in 1952. Aggy’s raw, unfiltered advice makes her the moral compass of New York.

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An Inwood woman abandons longtime bagel spot in favor of more hygienic pastures.

 

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Dear Aggy: You are my only hope in this. There are two bodegas on the same block in my neighborhood, one of which I live above in my building. Naturally, I always patronize the bodega a few stories below me in my building owned by a sweet older gentleman we will call Mr. Sosa. He’s a super sweet guy, and I have known him and his daughter in passing over the last two years. One day, I saw Mr. Sosa sneeze and then handle my regular toasted bagel with cream cheese order with his bare, unwashed, not hand-sanitized hands. Aggy, I was totally grossed out!

Mr. Sosa is such a nice, grandfatherly man but after that gross encounter, I began going to the bodega across the street. I wake up an hour and a half earlier just to spare Mr. Sosa the pain of seeing me go to the bodega across the street. I feel like a prisoner in my own neighborhood. How can I fix this?

- Feeling Guilty in Inwood

Dear Guilty: I will tell you the proper etiquette in this situation. Go to Papyrus, select some delightful stationary and slip under the door of the bodega early in the morning, before the store opens. In the letter, sincerely explain why you're a Sosa Bodega defector. I think he'll appreciate the timeless thoughtfulness of this gesture. People simply don’t write handwritten letters like they used to. All the best!

 ____________________________________________________________

Dear Aggy: I got a really great deal on Groupon for salsa lesson package at a studio in Chelsea. I was very excited because the lead instructor has worked with cast members of Dancing With the Stars, plus the studio is close to my job, so I can attend classes conveniently after work.

At my first session, I was very excited to see that the illustrious lead instructor and namesake of the studio would actually be the one teaching my class. Wow! The class started off great—he made salsa seem simple and broke down the basics in a way that I could understand. However, about halfway through the class, I noticed a rancid smell. It wasn’t until the instructor called upon me as a lady “volunteer” to help him demonstrate a new move that I realized the origin of that incredibly putrid stench. It was the instructor!

I figured his awful body odor was just a one-time thing but four sessions deep, things have not improved. In fact, they have only gotten worst. His body odor permeates not only the studio room, but the entire floor. I could even smell his stench when I was at the water fountain down the corridor.

Now I understand why I got such a great deal—this guy stinks! I don’t want to leave the class because he’s really an awesome teacher, and I don’t want to lose out of this great lesson package deal that I’ve already paid for. But if I don’t do something soon, I’m afraid I’ll choke on the air in the room.

- Deal Gone Rancid in Chelsea

Dear Deal: As a descendant of President John Quincy Adams, I must emphasize how it is important to be discreet in situations like this. Have you tried asking him to open a window in the studio? Or turn up the air conditioner? Have you shown your appreciation with a shiny new gift basket of soaps and body washes from Bath & Body Works? If none of those things work, you should purchase a medical facemask and wear that to class. If anyone questions why you’re wearing it, simply tell them that your immune system is vulnerable and can be easily compromised by foreign agents. No one will question that explanation. Have a great day!

 

Looking for MORE great advice..?

Come see IRTE in

 

LATE NIGHT NEWS

Saturdays, May 2, 9 & 16, 8:00 pm
at The Producer's Club
358 W 44th St, NYC
between 8th & 9th Ave.

Tickets: $12.00

Dear Aggy: Brooklyn friends refuse to hang on Staten Island

By Aggy Quincy Adams

Every week, Aggy Quincy Adams answers New Yorkers’ burning questions in her provocative “Dear Aggy” advice column. She has read every edition of “The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette” since it first went into print in 1952. Aggy’s raw, unfiltered advice makes her the moral compass of New York.

_____________________________________________

A Staten Island man wonders why his friends never venture out to see him.

_____________________________________________

Dear Aggy: I live on Staten Island. Say no more, I already get plenty of flack for it from my colleagues and strangers alike, but I would at least expect a little leeway from my friends. Aggy, all of my friends live in Brooklyn. When it comes time to make our plans for the weekend, everything’s in Brooklyn. Flea market hopping. Artisan sandwich tastings. Pub crawls. You name it; we’re doing it on Driggs Avenue. I always make the trek to BK and usually end up having to retire early for the evening to make my long trip home. I have introduced the idea of us all meeting halfway in say, the East Village, but they say majority rules. My friends are awesome but I’m done with spending half of my Friday night on the ferry.

- A Saint in St. George

Dear Saint: Decide what makes you special enough to make several people take a ferry that leaves once an hour come and visit you. I implore you to meditate to really find the answer. If you come up with nothing, as I suspect you will, I say try making some new friends on Staten Island. Try the websites Craigslist or Meetup. The ferry is also a great place to start looking, since I know you probably spend a majority of your time on there. The television series “Mob Wives” takes place on Staten Island, so I know there are a lot of colorful characters on the island.  Good luck!

_________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Dear Aggy: I'm at odds with my parents over my undergraduate studies. I’m heading into my junior year of college and it's time for me to declare a major. I've been taking liberal arts classes for the past four semesters, because I’m trying to avoid telling them I’d like to major in journalism. They are both lawyers, and neither one of them would accept me pursuing anything other than medicine or law. I watch Late Night News every evening and I would love to someday be like Harley Harlinson and Yolanda Torres. I love writing, and I want to produce stories and documentaries that will change lives. But my parents are really firm on me staying on the Pre-Law tract, and I can’t really argue with them—after all, they pay for my tuition, room and board. I’m stuck!

 - Undeclared in Greenwich Village

Dear Undeclared: Go to Barnes & Noble, find the latest printing of “Barron’s Index of College Majors and Minors” and give it a good peruse. That should help you your on your path towards narrowing down your options. Toodles!

 

Looking for MORE good advice..?

Come see IRTE in

 

LATE NIGHT NEWS

Saturdays, May 2, 9 & 16, 8:00 pm
at The Producer's Club
358 W 44th St, NYC
between 8th & 9th Ave.

Tickets: $12.00

 

TV Guide Cheers & Jeers - Tammy Sue Dixon and the New Hollywood Glamour of Primetime TV!

 

CHEERS 'N' JEERS
 

Meredith seething with jealousy

Cheers for Tammy Sue Dixon who narrowly beat out Meredith Baxter-Birney for the highly coveted role of Betty Truman in the much anticipated Wow Wee! Adventures of a Little Girl Robot, premiering TONIGHT on IRTV!

 

Tammy plays the mother of the Truman brood and red headed foil to her bumbling husband played by five-time PEOPLE'S CHOICE AWARD WINNER, Lester Lannigan.

 

SHOCKINGLY, Wow Wee! is Tammy Sue's network television debut.  Originally from Fort Worth, Texas, this aspiring BROADWAY dancer/singer/actor may never have seen the actual footlights of the GREAT WHITE WAY, but she did receive GLOWING PRAISE for her two month stint in a Staten Island Community Playhouse production of CATS, where critics called her "FERAL", "ON STAGE", and "ALWAYS SINGING!". Rumor has it that as soon as Wow Wee! wraps it's season, it's back to "BROADWAY" with a new musical adaptation of "The Bell Jar." The glamorous rising star has been singled out to play the Lead Jar in the ballet dream sequence. (Take THAT, Meredith Baxter-Birney!)

Tammy Sue may be a familiar face to many of us who have witnessed her transcendant appearances on local public access tv talk show Midafternoon with Curtis Lee where she was able to showcase some of her tap dancing skills and also promote her signature perfume line, "Totally Tammy Sue" (available at Strawberry and Joyce Leslie stores). When asked to credit her success, Dixon demurely shrugs and explains, "With the right wig, anyone can act their way out of a paper bag."

 

Wow Wee! HOLLYWOOD cannot wait to see this STAR SHINE! (Let's hope Ms. Baxter-Birney doesn't feel the BURN!)

Don't miss Tammy Sue Dixon in
 

Wow Wee! Adventures of a Little Girl Robot

Saturdays, March 7, 14 and 21, 8:00 pm

at The Producer's Club

358 W 44th St, NYC

between 8th & 9th Ave.

Tickets: $12.00

IRTE 2015: Say "hello" to Bill Berg!

It's a brand new year, bringing with it a brand new season of IRTE shows! We're proud to announce that one familiar face will officially be joining us! Say "hello" to our newest 2015 Ensemble Member, Bill Berg!

 

One of our all time favorite GIRTEs (Guest of IRTE), you might remember Bill as the 70s lothario Lupine Lou in last season's vIRTE Go-Go! or as Ken in The League of Extraordinary Blondes. We sat down with Bill for a chat.

So, Bill, tell us... What do you love most about IRTE?

What I love most about being a part of IRTE is that we all get together and come up with a bunch of different show ideas and then we vote on the ones we like best. Then we get to do them! That and the scotch at "the end" of our meetings and rehearsals. I love scotch!


Well, we know how to keep our IRTEs happy. Speaking of whom, what do you think of the cast this year?

I consider myself lucky to get to play and create and perform with such a talented, generous, and kooky group of people.

Kooky?

Kooky.


Okay, I'll admit we can be a bit "kooky." Assuming you haven't had too much scotch, any memorable moments from last season?

Blondes. All I can remember is blondes.

Figures.

Besides all those blondes, who are some of your favorite IRTE characters?

Only a narcissist would say that one of his favorite characters was one of his own.

Do go on...



Bill's always been a groovy dude... With Marcia Sofley in vIRTE Go-Go!

I am a narcissist. I LOVE Lupine Lou! Such fun. That guy in the wheelchair always makes me laugh, too. Bonnie Winters, of course.

Of course. :)

And who doesn't love a run-over bunny with a buzzard eating it's head? Am I right?!

(Laughs) Absolutely!








...and he can type, too, even without a typewriter! With Jamie Maloney in The League of Extraordinary Blondes

What are you most looking forward to this season?
The opportunity to meet James Carville. Rumor has it he'll be making a special appearance for our 'Late Night News' show. Shhh...don't tell Mary - we didn't invite her. Oh, and...'Calamity!'

Calamity! was your original idea, and I hear you're going to direct!  How exciting!!

Thanks, Bill, we're so happy to have you join the ranks!

Come see Bill and all the IRTEs in...

Wow Wee! Adventures of a Little Girl Robot

Saturdays, March 7, 14 & 21, 8:00 pm at

The Producer's Club

358 W 44th St, NYC

between 8th & 9th Ave.

Tickets: $12.00

Jamie Maloney Goes to Court

With Small Claims opening in just a week, it seemed fitting that IRTE's own Jamie Maloney should be called in for Jury Duty

 

The following is from Jamie's own personal journal describing his journey...

 

Tomorrow I have jury duty. I knew when I received the official questionnaire last month that it was inevitable and I've been dreading it ever since. This is the third time I've been summoned since I reached the appropriate age and the call comes about once every decade . I'm in my 40's now and I haven't been summoned since my mid 30's so I'm due. Most people dislike being called to jury duty for practical reasons: missing work, a disruption of their daily schedule, etc. My anxiety centers on being called out for dressing inappropriately. I also have a chronic back condition which could be aggravated by sitting on hard wooden furniture for a few days so I suppose my concerns are becoming more rational as I reluctantly settle into middle-age. I've set my alarm for 7am but I know that anxiety will wake me up well before that. 

3:30am: My cat wakes me up because she thinks it's fun to step on my hair while I sleep. I feed her and try to go back to sleep. 

5:45: I give up trying to sleep and futz around the apartment for a few hours. Call time at the courthouse is 9:00 so I figure I need to leave by 8. I pick out a dress shirt that doesn't quite fit anymore and a clean pair of jeans that are free of unintentional holes but I still feel like I'm not dressed in a manner that's respectful to the court. I need to point out that I resent dress codes of any kind. It's my last vestige of adolescent outrage. I do whatever I can to avoid situations where dress codes are enforced, going so far as to risk being disowned by skipping family weddings. I decide there's nothing more I can do to appear non-contemptuous and head out the door thinking about the soldiers on D-Day who knew they would be stepping onto a beach into a wall of enemy gunfire.

8:43: The area where the courts are is easily the most intimidating part of town. Looking at all the columns and steps and people in appropriate attire, I try to tell myself my fears are irrational but this is clearly a serious place for serious people doing serious business. I would feel more comfortable in some of the worst areas of the city circa 1975. At least there and then I wouldn't be fined for following my instincts and running away. I'm just some ridiculous comedian in an ill fitting shirt, it's only a matter of time before I'm discovered and culled form the herd. I arrive at my assigned location and immediately realize my apparel-centric concerns are unfounded. My fellow prospective jurors look like they're going to a picnic. Baseball hats, t-shirts and neon sneakers are everywhere. This is usually how things work for me. Weeks of worrying dispelled in a heartbeat followed by feeling silly for having put myself through it. A quick trip through an ancient metal detector, (why do I have three AA batteries in my inside coat pocket?) and I find the jury room. My last time here I sat on beautiful, old, painful wooden benches. They've since 'upgraded' to cushioned chairs. The pinched nerve in my back is relieved but my sense of history and appreciation of old world craftsmanship wonders about the fate of those stalwart old benches. The court worker, I'm calling him the Jury Room Commander, gives us the standard spiel, followed by the indoctr..er.. orientation video. I'm expecting a long day of sitting, reading a book called "Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain" and waiting patiently but we're quickly shuffled along to  another building. I was called to criminal court but civil court needs jurors. Lots of jurors. 

10:22: A round woman in tiny shoes and a very structured dress gives us the civil court spiel before the lawyers come in. And I'm using lawyers in the most plural way possible. There aren't this many suits in an entire season of Mad Men. Four lawsuits are being combined into a single trial that's going to last between six and ten weeks. The first part of the jury selection process is to determine if the potential jurors know or have any connection with anyone or anything involved in the case. Every one of the thirty (yes, thirty!) lawyers takes their turn telling us their names and the names of all the parties they represent and will be calling as witnesses. From what they tell us about this trial, it seems pretty interesting if not potentially mind numbingly boring. I think I want to serve as a juror. 

11:38:  We have the opportunity to speak individually to the wall of wool about why we may not be able serve on the jury for this trial. As much as I'd like to, six to ten weeks is too long to be able to anticipate what might happen with my back and I need to find a way out. As I approach the eloquence of attorneys I feel like I've been called before every school principal I've ever had  in order to explain my deviance from the dress code. They make no mention of my attire and to my surprise they offer to let me get up and stretch my back from time to time during the trial. In the end however I have a somewhat personal connection to this case. This is a mesothelioma suit and my dearly departed grandmother was diagnosed with that very same horror six years ago. Ultimately they don't care how I'm dressed. They only want to know if I can be impartial, and that's not going to happen, so they let me go home, duty served. Slightly disappointed, slightly relieved I make my escape from Intimidation Square.

12:51: Back home. My cat wants to eat again but not before I put on a t-shirt.

Check out Jamie in Small Claims SATURDAYS May 17, 24 & 31, 8:00pm at

 

​The Producers Club

358 West 44th Street

New York, NY 10036

Tickets $10

Special discounts available online.