Help Us to Continue Bringing Good Cheer in the New Year!

Dear Friend,

We had a great season this past year, producing four different shows. Plus, we're doing our best to reach audiences outside of New York City, as well. In January, we're performing at the Asheville Fringe Festival. So, if you live in or near NC, now's your chance to check us out live and in person!

For the upcoming 2017 season, the IRTE elves have opened their workshop, and are hard at work making plans for four new improvised shows. They're hoping to bring entertainment and laughter to all, and give everyone some relief from the past year.

We can't do this without contributions from people like you who want to share terrific, zany, live comedy and who want to make sure it's affordable for everybody.

If you weren't able to take part in our 2016 Indiegogo fundraiser, and would like to see  small, independent theatre thrive, there is still time to make a tax deductible gift to IRTE in 2016 through our fiscal sponsor, Fractured Atlas. To give a gift to IRTE during this charitable time of year, please go to the Fractured Atlas IRTE page and make a tax deductible donation on-line. If you prefer, you can also donate by check. Please send contributions to IRTE c/o Robert Baumgardner, 10 W 66 St, #19-H, New York, NY 10023. Checks should be made payable to Fractured Atlas, with IRTE in the memo line. IRTE is a sponsored project of Fractured Atlas, a non-profit arts service organization. Contributions for the charitable purposes of IRTE must be made payable to “Fractured Atlas” and are tax‐deductible to the extent permitted by law. We greatly appreciate it.

We at IRTE would like to wish all of you a happy holiday season and a wonderful new year! We'd also like to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all your support over the past five years. Our 2016 fundraising efforts helped us pay for over a third of our overall costs. Our biggest expense, by far, is rent on theatre and rehearsal spaces. This year we spent over $3,400 on that alone. Donations weren't the only way you supported us. We had a blast seeing so many of you in the audience for multiple shows in our season.
 
Happy Holidays from all of us at IRTE, and we look forward to seeing you for our exciting new 2017 season (announcement coming soon)!

Nannette Deasy, Artistic Director
Robert Baumgardner
Curt Dixon
Jamie Maloney
Bill Berg

Dear Mommy and Daddy... FURTHER Letters from the Front Line (aka "Camp")

IRTE's latest production, Camp Fitness, continues this Saturday June 13th. Dip your toes in the murky pond of adolescence. IRTE's very own Jamie Maloney has even more camp letters from his days as an idealistic youth!

Letters from Camp 1985
Jamie Maloney

13 years old
(Errors preserved)

 

June 26

 

Dear Mommy and Daddy

 

Send me some more money some gum and some bug repellent and some stamps
One of our counselors carries a doll
Send me my electronic football
Im having a good time.

 

Love Jamie

 

July 3

 

Dear Mommy and Daddy

Im writing to you again today because it’s raining and we can’t go out. The kids in my bunk did the duracell test to my flashlight and the bulb broke. The duracell test is dropping it from six feet and seeing if it breaks. I told you about my counselor getting fired well we got a new one and his name is Craig the old one’s name was Aaron. I told Papa to tell you send me a new marker. Send me some more money for when we go on trips and some stamps. 

Love Jamie

 

July 8

 

Dear Mommy and Daddy, 

Its raining and we’re inside I got the game but send me my baseball game  it’s tan and I think it’s around my book case or my computer. Send me some money and cereal or that juice mix stuff. if you send me the mix send me a cup

Love Jamie

 

July 12

Dear Mommy and Daddy, 

If you can send me anything send me salt water taffy

I got on my knees on the hydro-slide for a second but I fell off  I joined the swim team. I need some stamps. I’m getting good in sailing.

Love Jamie

 

Yesterday we went on a canoe trip and today I got stung by a bee under neath the tongue of my shoe

I need some more money for when we go on trips and things like that   I’m going to see if I can call you on my birthday

Love Jamie

P.S. I need stamps.

 

 

July 14 (13th birthday)

Dear Mommy and Daddy, 

When you come up on Sunday bring some shampoo and my combination lock. This morning when I woke up I had to go to the bathroom real bad and it was diarrea. then it couldn’t come out so I went to the infirmary. Send some stamps

Love Jamie

 

July 26

Dear Mommy and Daddy, 

to day we went to a mall and we got to go to all the stores we wanted. I am all out of stamps and I used most of my money send me some Capri Sun

I got into a fight with this kid. Not the same one I told you about but another kid in my bunk

July 31

Dear Mommy and Daddy, 

I got your letter that was dated July 22  I have been writing you letters. Color war is in its 3rd day but it’s raining so we’re inside

A kid gave these 2 cards for a pizza at canteen

GREAT DEAL!!

 

Love Jamie

Ready for more summer fun..?

Then come see IRTE in

CAMP FITNESS

 

Saturdays, June 6, 13 & 20, 8:00 pm
at The Producer's Club
358 W 44th St, NYC
between 8th & 9th Ave.

Tickets: $12.00

 

Dear Mommy and Daddy... MORE Letters from the Front Line (aka "Camp")

IRTE's latest production, Camp Fitness, opens this Saturday June 6th. Curl up close to the campfire. IRTE's very own Jamie Maloney has more camp letters from his days as an idealistic youth!

Letters from Camp 1984-85
Jamie Maloney

12-13 years old
(Errors preserved)



Dear Momy and Daddy,
It has rained for two days and we are making rockets. The other day a kid wrote on the outside of our bunk and had to paint it over. We got into a water fight yesterday with another bunk. I got the money you sent and I want you to send me some candy. How are the cats? Don’t forget the 9 volt batteries for my game. We saw some dumb movies, war games and the outsiders. Don’t forget the batteries and candy.


Love Jamie


P.S. Say hello to Papa and grandma when they come back.



Dear Mommy and Daddy,
Ireally don’t need to use my suntan lotion. I don’t have much to say but I’m writing this letter because I’m bored. Just send about 10 dollars and some candy and gum and a game magazine or some thing like that.


Love Jamie


Dear Mommy and Daddy,

Yesterday I went down the waterfall. I didn’t get hurt. Today I got a big cut on my foot.We went to Beltzville a beach kind of thing. I got the batteries and gum. There is nothing left in the care package but I still got the 4 packs of gum you sent thanks.


Love Jamie



Dear Mommy and Daddy


I got the candy and am sharing it. I built a rocket and will launch it soon. We had 4th of July fire works. Today someone pushed me in

the lake and I got a big hole in my tonge after I bit it. Tell me when Papa and grandma come back so I can write to them. We have this big brother thing where you get a big pal or little pal. I got a big pal. his name is Mark, he works in the kitchen. It has been raining since Friday.


Love Jamie



I got the card and presents you sent me. Today was olympic day but it got rained out. Papa sent me zabars cookies.


Love Jamie


Dear Mommy and Daddy,

I need stamps. I got the magazines you sent. I

 read one of the Mads but thats ok. Thanks for the presents. I really like the stickers. Those magazines are really neat. This kid in our bunk takes everybodys stuff without asking. He takes my football game when I dont want him to. And when I tell him not to play it he does anyway.


Love Jamie




Dear Mommy and Daddy,


I don’t have much to say but I have to write.


Love Jamie

Ready for more summer fun..?

Then come see IRTE in

CAMP FITNESS

 

Saturdays, June 6, 13 & 20, 8:00 pm
at The Producer's Club
358 W 44th St, NYC
between 8th & 9th Ave.

Tickets: $12.00

Dear Mommy and Daddy... Letters from the Front Line (aka "Camp")

IRTE's latest production, Camp Fitness, opens June 6, 2015. Let's all gather around the campfire, as IRTE's very own Jamie Maloney pulls out the ol' mail bag from his days as a bright eyed camper!

Letters from Camp 1984-85
Jamie Maloney

12-13 years old
(Errors preserved)

1st day 1984

Dear Mommy and Daddy,

The bus trip was so long, I was bored out of my head. About half way we stopped and piced up some more people from New Jersey. I had to change my seat and finally sat next to someone. He had this piano thing and let me use it. When we got to camp I went into a building where they told us what bunk we’re in, Im in I-5. There are 5 other kids in my bunk they are strange.Please send me some money, about 5$. I also want some candy and gum. I don’t miss you.


Jamie

 
2nd day June 27

Dear Mommy and Daddy

Today was all right, we played softball went swimming played soccer, volleyball. The sore on my arm from the shot is getting worse and if I move my arm it hurts. There is a red spot there and it is a big lump. I hate this place, it is so boring we only do regular stuff. I want to go home, come and get me. The kids here are stupid. I told you it will be like all the other camps. If you don’t take me home send me some change for the soda machine. But bring me home.

Love

Jamie

P.S. I want to go home real bad and I know your going to say that later on I’ll like it but I won’t. Were not doing any good stuff, just all the regular stuff like any other camp. I told you I didn’t want to go. My arm gets worse every day and it hurts. Please come and get me. This place is so boring

I want to go home
Jamie

 

Dear Mommy and Daddy,

My last letter was a trick and don’t take it seriously. To Day I went on a jet ski and a water sled, Last night we had a water fight with the bunk next door, Please send some gum, perticularly Big League Chew. Everyone in my bunk is playing my foot ball game and the batteries are almost dead so send me some 9 volt batteries.
Love Jamie
sorry about
the trick

PS. we went on go carts and they call me kamakazie. 

Ready for more summer fun..?

Then come see IRTE in

 

CAMP FITNESS

Saturdays, June 6, 13 & 20, 8:00 pm
at The Producer's Club
358 W 44th St, NYC
between 8th & 9th Ave.

Tickets: $12.00

Dear Aggy: Brooklyn friends refuse to hang on Staten Island

By Aggy Quincy Adams

Every week, Aggy Quincy Adams answers New Yorkers’ burning questions in her provocative “Dear Aggy” advice column. She has read every edition of “The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette” since it first went into print in 1952. Aggy’s raw, unfiltered advice makes her the moral compass of New York.

_____________________________________________

A Staten Island man wonders why his friends never venture out to see him.

_____________________________________________

Dear Aggy: I live on Staten Island. Say no more, I already get plenty of flack for it from my colleagues and strangers alike, but I would at least expect a little leeway from my friends. Aggy, all of my friends live in Brooklyn. When it comes time to make our plans for the weekend, everything’s in Brooklyn. Flea market hopping. Artisan sandwich tastings. Pub crawls. You name it; we’re doing it on Driggs Avenue. I always make the trek to BK and usually end up having to retire early for the evening to make my long trip home. I have introduced the idea of us all meeting halfway in say, the East Village, but they say majority rules. My friends are awesome but I’m done with spending half of my Friday night on the ferry.

- A Saint in St. George

Dear Saint: Decide what makes you special enough to make several people take a ferry that leaves once an hour come and visit you. I implore you to meditate to really find the answer. If you come up with nothing, as I suspect you will, I say try making some new friends on Staten Island. Try the websites Craigslist or Meetup. The ferry is also a great place to start looking, since I know you probably spend a majority of your time on there. The television series “Mob Wives” takes place on Staten Island, so I know there are a lot of colorful characters on the island.  Good luck!

_________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Dear Aggy: I'm at odds with my parents over my undergraduate studies. I’m heading into my junior year of college and it's time for me to declare a major. I've been taking liberal arts classes for the past four semesters, because I’m trying to avoid telling them I’d like to major in journalism. They are both lawyers, and neither one of them would accept me pursuing anything other than medicine or law. I watch Late Night News every evening and I would love to someday be like Harley Harlinson and Yolanda Torres. I love writing, and I want to produce stories and documentaries that will change lives. But my parents are really firm on me staying on the Pre-Law tract, and I can’t really argue with them—after all, they pay for my tuition, room and board. I’m stuck!

 - Undeclared in Greenwich Village

Dear Undeclared: Go to Barnes & Noble, find the latest printing of “Barron’s Index of College Majors and Minors” and give it a good peruse. That should help you your on your path towards narrowing down your options. Toodles!

 

Looking for MORE good advice..?

Come see IRTE in

 

LATE NIGHT NEWS

Saturdays, May 2, 9 & 16, 8:00 pm
at The Producer's Club
358 W 44th St, NYC
between 8th & 9th Ave.

Tickets: $12.00

 

THE CAPTAIN’S CORNER - An Extended Vacation!

 _____________________________________________

A surprising number of passengers actually read the first installment of “Captain’s Corner”-- a fact which usually would make me very happy indeed. Unfortunately, some Negative Nancys and Pessimistic Peters (not their real names) have used MY OWN WORDS to spread rumors, speak half-truths and generally say some not very nice things about me

I feel that by responding to these malicious rumors, I am lowering myself to the level of these scallywags. But in the interest of ship morale I have decided to address several of the accusations/slanderous statements that are floating around the ship.

First and foremost:  Yes, the ships engines are “used.” But, they have very low mileage!  I inspected them myself when they were being installed and let me assure you they are perfectly adequate.

As to the related question, “Why did you buy used engines for a cruise ship and thereby endanger the lives of hundreds of your passengers?”  The answer is quite simple & obvious: to pass the savings onto you, THE PASSENGERS (duh!)

Also I would like to let you all know that I purchased an extended warranty/service contract with the engines.  If I was just a “dumbass captain” would I do that?

Yes, I’ve seen the graffiti.  “Dumbass” is just one of several personal insults spray-painted around the ship, but the only one appropriate for this family publication.  Make no mistake, we will find the perpetrator(s) and the cost of cleaning off the graffiti will be added to their final bill.

And now for some bad news. We are experiencing some difficulties in locating a mechanic who specializes in large-scale nuclear naval engines to come out and fix the dang things. I can’t even get one to return my calls.  Plus, we are not entirely sure where we are right now, and with our luck the poor guy would just be sailing around in circles trying to find us, wasting his time and wasting our money.  (And yes, of course, a mechanic could be a guy or a girl – I have met some damn fine lady mechanics in my day!)

As per my Captain duties, I will be attempting to fix the engines myself. So if you don’t see quite as much of me these days, feel safe in the knowledge that I will be cloistered deep in the bowels of the ship, beavering away with a screwdriver and other assorted items from the ship’s toolbox. Feel free to join me, but only if you intend to help diagnose and fix the engines. Just coming down there to yell and scream at me isn’t going to fix anything.

So just sit back, relax and enjoy the rest of your trip. Don’t think of this as being stranded at sea – think of it as an extended vacation!

Hard to believe, but not everybody on the ship is bitching and moaning about food rationing and backed-up plumbing.  Instead of worrying about things you have no control over, why not consider another visit to our Peppermint Lounge?

There are few select entertainers in this world who have climbed their way to the top rung of the show business ladder, and exist in the rarefied air of super-duper mega stardom.  One of the perks of being a megastar is that people are forced to call you by one name: Elvis, Cher, Madonna, Prince, Beyoncé, etc.  We are lucky enough to have one of these entertainers on our very own ship. The extremely talented ReW* continues her run at the Peppermint Lounge.

And after the show, stick around for comedy legend Shecky Herring!  Shecky is still performing every night, entertaining the passengers (and crew – I’m his #1 fan) with his prop-inspired shenanigans. 

Finally, I’d like to end things on an “up” note. We have an orphan on board! Two of our passengers (husband and wife) were unable to deal with the current situation and threw themselves overboard last night. Lucky for us they left behind an adorable little kid.

So join me in welcoming our new Honorary Cabin Boy, Jimmy Fitzsimmons!

Climb Aboard the SS Ted McGinley

with IRTE in...  

ADRIFT

Saturdays, April 4, 11 & 18, 8:00 pm

at The Producer's Club

358 W 44th St, NYC

between 8th & 9th Ave.

Tickets: $12.00

THE CAPTAIN’S CORNER - Welcome Aboard!

THE CAPTAIN’S CORNER
_____________________________________________

Ahoy, Mateys!

That’s sailor talk for “Hello, friends!”

Capt. Adam LaRonde of the
SS Ted McGinley

My name is Capt. LaRonde and let me be the first to welcome you aboard the SS Ted McGinley cruise ship.

For those first time cruisers, you are in for the experience of a lifetime. I hope you packed your sunscreen and left your worries behind.

The first question I get from folks who have never been on a cruise before is always when do we eat?

Well, I’m proud to announce that our award-winning buffet service is now open 24 hours a day, seven days a week.  As my dear old Dad used to say:  if you don’t get enough to eat, it’s your own damn fault.

Also you might want to take a second to pinch yourself (ouch!)

Why did you just pinch yourself? Because we are extremely lucky to have on this voyage the one and only Shecky Herring. The legendary prop comedian will be performing nightly at our famous Peppermint Lounge.  Also we have a variety of musical acts for your enjoyment, including my personal favorite Mary Knapp and her magical accordion stylings.

And if all that food, comedy and music still isn’t enough, our Cruise Director Judy McGill has planned a smorgasbord of fun and exciting activities for you to enjoy.

And now for all those grizzled cruise veterans among us, I say:  Quit bugging me and let me steer the ship!

All joking aside, please do not try to enter the main steerage deck.  Especially in these post-9/11 times I fail to find the humor in it.

Now, for both the “newbies” and the “vets”, may I make this humble request?

If you find yourself with time to spare, feel free to lend us a hand. Help scrub the deck, cut up some taters in the kitchen or just shovel coal in the engine room (just kidding – our engines run on nuclear fuel).

Our newly-installed engines are perfectly functional, bought at bargain prices from the former Soviet Republic of Azberbaijan. Say what you want about the evils of the Soviet communist system but man oh man when that sucker collapsed there were bargains to be found everywhere!!!

It’s traditional to launch a sea voyage with a toast. And here is one of my favorites:

May you always be upgraded to a deluxe cabin, may the buffet line always be short, and may your plumbing never need fixin!

Huzzah, Bon Voyage and L'Chayim!

-Capt. Adam LaRonde

SS Ted McGinley

 

Climb Aboard the SS Ted McGinley

with IRTE in...  

ADRIFT

Saturdays, April 4, 11 & 18, 8:00 pm

at The Producer's Club

358 W 44th St, NYC

between 8th & 9th Ave.

Tickets: $12.00

 

The Formative Years of Robert Baumgardner

The Clique, IRTE's next show, opened Saturday, August 3rd 2013. The last performance (unless we bring it to a festival) is Saturday, August 17 at 8:00 pm. It's about those high school years we all remember and love so well. At the top of the show, our principal, Jeff O'Leary will interview a member of the audience about their high school experience. So, to be fair, we decided to interview some of the cast members of The Clique before we subjected anyone else to such experiments.

This time we hear from improvisor Robert Baumgardner:

BIRTE: Where did you go to high school?

Robert: I went to an all boys prep school in northern New Jersey run by Benedictine priests.

Jersey Boy

B: Who were your friends? Were you part of a clique?

R: I think the school was too small to really have strictly defined cliques. There definitely were jocks, and I suppose nerds. I played soccer, then ultimate frisbee, and sat in the library a lot. I guess my closest friends were nerds and stoners. At least the latter had a reputation for being stoners. I actually never saw weed until I went to college.

B: Did you ever get bullied/picked on by someone?

R: By students or faculty? Ha! I don't really remember anyone getting picked on a lot. Not that there weren't days...threats of chocolate swirlies, your-mama jokes were big, etc. One guy who got picked on in my class was actually the biggest kid in the class. I think he was an offensive lineman on the football team, and others would pick on him because he wasn't the sharpest pencil in the cup. He would take their crap, but sometimes if he thought someone else was getting picked on, he'd put the bully in a headlock. That pretty much ended the bullying for awhile.

B: Did you ever get sent to the Principal's office?

R: We didn't have a principal. We had a headmaster, a very strong priest who had been living for over a thousand years. Oh, sorry. Let me turn off "True Blood". There we go. Where were we? Oh no, the headmaster was probably in his forties. I don't ever remember getting sent to the office. The priests scared me, so I stayed in line.

Check out The Clique this Saturday, August 17 8:00 pm at

Gotham City Improv
48 West 21st, 8th Floor - Buzzer #801
New York, NY 10010
212-367-8222

Tix: $6

Reservations: IRTEinfo@gmail.com

Special Discount!!!: $3.00 for High School / College Students with advance
reservation.
$3.00 for groups of 3 or more with advance
reservation.